Am I Abusive Quiz

Relationships are complex, and sometimes the lines can blur. Have you ever questioned your own behavior in a relationship and wondered if it might be crossing into abuse? 

This isn't about blame or shame. It's about taking a courageous step towards self-awareness and healthier relationships with yourself and others.

This quiz can be a starting point for reflection, helping you identify patterns and behaviors that might be harmful. Remember, a healthy relationship involves mutual respect, open communication, and feeling safe.

If the quiz raises any concerns, you're not alone. We'll provide resources and support options to help you navigate next steps.

How accurate is this quiz?

At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.

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Scenarios of abusive behavior

These are examples of how abusive behavior can play out in real-life scenarios. Sometimes, it can be easier to identify when someone else exhibits toxic or abusive behavior than yourself. Reflect on these scenarios to help you determine whether you engage in similar behaviors.

Scenario 1 → The belittler

• You tell your friend about something exciting that happened to you. They respond with a sarcastic comment or put-down, diminishing your accomplishment and making you feel small.

Scenario 2 →The controller

• Your partner constantly checks your phone, monitors who you see, and expects detailed explanations of your whereabouts at all times. This controlling behavior suffocates your sense of independence and privacy.

Scenario 3 → The yeller

• During disagreements, your friend or partner resorts to yelling, name-calling, or using hurtful insults. They may try to intimidate you into silence or make you feel like you're "overreacting" for having boundaries.

Scenario 4 → The guilter

• You make plans with a friend, but something unexpected comes up and you have to cancel. Your friend guilt-trips you, making you feel terrible and obligated to do things for them to "make it up."

Scenario 5 → The threatener

• Your partner threatens to hurt themself or others if you break up or try to leave the relationship. This manipulative tactic creates fear and controls your decisions through intimidation.

Scenarios of healthy behavior

These are some examples of healthy behaviors. You may exhibit some healthy behaviors in addition to having abusive behavior. Read these scenarios to get a better sense of what resonates with your experiences.

Scenario 1 → The supportive friend

• You confide in your friend about a difficult situation. They listen actively, offer words of encouragement, and validate your feelings without judgment.

Scenario 2 → The Respectful partner

• You and your partner disagree on something. You both calmly express your viewpoints, listen to each other, and find a compromise that works for both of you.

Scenario 3 → The open communicator

• You're feeling overwhelmed with work and need to talk to your friend. They offer a listening ear, provide helpful suggestions, and respect your need for space if that's what you need.

Scenario 4 → The honest boundary setter

• You're invited to an event you're not interested in, but don't want to hurt the feelings of the person who invited you. You politely decline, offering an alternative suggestion or simply stating you're busy or not up for an event.

Scenario 5: The trusting partner

• You're going out with friends for the evening. Your partner trusts you to have a good time and respects your ability to make your own decisions. You both feel comfortable communicating openly.

Ready to get help?

If you want to start improving your self, therapy is an excellent place to start. Find a Best Therapists vetted therapist.