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October 31, 2024

24 Breadcrumbing Examples to Look Out for in Modern Communication

Kristie Plantinga
,
MA
breadcrumbing examples, woman looking down at her phone with an uncertain expression
Guides
October 31, 2024
13 min to read
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Ever feel like someone’s keeping you on the hook without ever fully committing? That’s breadcrumbing—one of the most frustrating communication tactics in the digital age. It’s when someone gives just enough attention to keep you interested but never follows through with real effort.

Breadcrumbing isn’t just for dating apps. It happens in friendships, workplaces, and even family dynamics. A vague text here, a flirty emoji there—just enough to make you wonder what does this mean? but never enough to build a real connection.

In this post, we’ll break down 24 breadcrumbing examples you might run into. Whether it’s a flaky friend, an inconsistent boss, or a romantic interest who won’t step up, recognizing the signs can help you set boundaries and protect your energy. Let’s dive in.

What breadcrumbing is

Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you just enough attention to keep you hooked—but never enough to build something real. It’s a manipulative tactic, often seen in dating, where a person drops occasional texts, flirty social media interactions, or vague promises of future plans without any real intention of following through.

Think of it like a trail of breadcrumbs—just enough to keep you interested, but never leading to anything substantial. The result? You’re left emotionally invested while they keep their options open.

What breadcrumbing isn't

Breadcrumbing isn’t the same as:

  • Being genuinely busy but communicating honestly about it
  • Taking things slow while being upfront about your intentions
  • Having natural pauses in conversation that feel mutual and comfortable
  • Setting healthy boundaries in a relationship
  • Processing personal feelings while keeping your partner in the loop
  • Temporary lapses in communication due to work, illness, or life circumstances
  • Feeling unsure about a relationship but being open about your uncertainty
  • Maintaining a casual relationship where both people are on the same page

The key difference? Intent and transparency. Breadcrumbing is about stringing someone along with false hope, while these other situations involve honesty, respect, and open communication—even if the connection isn’t constant or intense.

The breadcrumbing gray area

Breadcrumbing can be tricky to spot. Some behaviors look like breadcrumbing but don’t necessarily come from a place of manipulation. Here are a few examples that sit in that gray area:

  • Genuinely liking someone but struggling with anxiety or attachment issues that make communication inconsistent
  • Dealing with depression or other mental health challenges that make staying connected hard—without clearly explaining this
  • Keeping someone as a “backup” without fully realizing you're doing it
  • Feeling unsure about your feelings but continuing to engage instead of taking space to figure them out
  • Having different communication styles or cultural expectations that were never discussed
  • Staying in touch after a breakup out of habit or unresolved emotions, without ill intent
  • Avoiding conflict and sending mixed signals instead of having tough conversations
  • Responding to messages out of politeness, even when you’re not actually interested, unintentionally leading someone on

Unlike clear-cut breadcrumbing, these behaviors aren’t always calculated or manipulative. But even if the harm isn’t intentional, the emotional impact can still be just as confusing and painful.

Digital breadcrumbing examples

1. Ghosting after showing interest

  • What it is: Engaging with someone at first but then disappearing without explanation.
  • Example scenario: Amir and Sofia matched on a dating app and had a few great conversations. Just when Sofia thought things were going well, Alex suddenly stopped replying, leaving her confused.

2. Frequent liking, minimal interaction

  • What it is: Regularly engaging with someone’s social media posts but avoiding real conversation.
  • Example scenario: Emily always liked and commented on James’s Instagram posts, but when he messaged her directly, she never responded or started a conversation herself.

3. Sending vague, cryptic messages

  • What it is: Sending messages that create confusion about intent or interest.
  • Example scenario: After weeks of silence, Leo suddenly messaged Aisha, saying, “Been thinking about you a lot lately.” Without any follow-up, Aisha was left wondering what he really meant.

4. Seeking validation through social media

  • What it is: Using social media to get attention while avoiding deeper connections.
  • Example scenario: Malik frequently posted selfies and status updates to rack up likes and comments. But when it came to actual conversations, he wasn’t interested in forming real relationships.

Emotional breadcrumbing examples

5. Sharing intimate details without follow-through

  • What it is: Revealing personal information to create a sense of closeness and trust but avoiding deeper engagement or commitment.
  • Example scenario: Hannah often shared intimate details about her past with Daniel, making him feel a strong emotional connection. However, she never followed through on promises to spend more time together or deepen their relationship.

6. Making vague promises

  • What it is: Offering promises of future plans or commitments without providing specific details or timelines.
  • Example scenario: Mateo told Aliyah that they would “definitely” go on a trip together “someday.” However, he never made any concrete plans or suggested specific dates.

7. Using past connections to maintain contact

  • What it is: Relying on past emotional connections to maintain contact, even when there is little to no current engagement.
  • Example scenario: Lucas often brought up shared memories from their past to keep Zoe in his life, even though they had little in common or connection in the present.

8. Seeking emotional support only when needed

  • What it is:Reaching out to others for emotional support only when feeling lonely or isolated, without reciprocating or maintaining consistent contact.
  • Example scenario: David often texted Martin when he was feeling down or needed someone to talk to. However, he rarely reached out to him when he was happy or doing well.

Social breadcrumbing examples

9. Dropping casual invites without follow-through

  • What it is: Mentioning plans in a vague or casual way but never following up with real intent to meet.
  • Example scenario: Layla often told Omar, “You should come to this party I’m going to,” but she never actually shared details or confirmed if he was coming.

10. Repeatedly bringing up plans but never setting a date

  • What it is:Talking about getting together multiple times but always avoiding setting an actual date and time.
  • Example scenario: Raj kept telling Elena, “We really need to catch up soon,” but every time she suggested a date, he responded with “Let’s figure it out later” and never followed up.

11. Unexpected appearances

  • What it is: Showing up at places where they know you’ll be but acting distant or avoiding interaction.
  • Example scenario: Ken frequently appeared at events or places where he knew Fatima would be, but he would avoid making eye contact or engaging in conversation.

12. Making excuses for canceled plans

  • What it is: Canceling plans at the last minute without attempting to reschedule or offer alternatives.
  • Example scenario: Kelly frequently canceled plans with Lauren at the last minute, offering vague excuses and never suggesting alternative dates or times.

Workplace breadcrumbing examples

13. Teasing future opportunities

  • What it is: Dropping hints or vague suggestions about potential future opportunities or collaborations, without providing any concrete details or commitments.
  • Example scenario: Veronica told her colleague, Diego, that she was “working on something exciting” and that she might bring him on board. However, she never provided any specific information or followed up with concrete details.

14. Promising networking connections

  • What it is: Offering to connect someone with potential contacts or opportunities but failing to follow through on the promise.
  • Example scenario: Collin told Kevin that he knew someone who could help him find a new job, but he never introduced him or provided any contact information.

15. Suggesting collaboration without follow-through

  • What it is: Proposing potential collaborations or partnerships but failing to follow up with any concrete plans or actions.
  • Example scenario: Amanda suggested to Ryan that they should collaborate on a new project, but she never initiated any meetings or discussions.

16. Maintaining sporadic contact

  • What it is: Keeping in touch with former colleagues or professional contacts on a sporadic basis, without any real intent to build or maintain a relationship.
  • Example scenario: Adnan sent occasional emails or LinkedIn messages to his former colleagues just to “keep in touch” and “stay on their radar.” However, he never initiated any meaningful conversations or offered any real support.

Dating app breadcrumbing examples

17. Maintaining minimal conversation

  • What it is:Keeping conversations going on dating apps with minimal effort or substance, often with the goal of maintaining matches without genuine interest.
  • Example scenario: Tatiana often responded to Jack's messages on a dating app, but her responses were brief and generic, indicating a lack of genuine interest.

18. Reviving dead conversations

  • What it is: Reactivating old conversations on dating apps without any real intent to follow through or meet in person.
  • Example scenario: Maya had stopped responding to Mei’s messages on a dating app weeks ago. However, she suddenly messaged her again, seemingly out of nowhere, without any explanation.

19. Making excuses for meeting

  • What it is: Constantly making excuses or delaying meeting up in person, despite expressing initial interest.
  • Example scenario: Caleb told Ashley that he wanted to meet in person, but he kept making excuses about being busy or having other commitments.

20. Keeping profile active while claiming to want commitment

  • What it is: Maintaining an active dating app profile while claiming to be looking for a serious relationship.
  • Example scenario: Tara told Akash that she was serious about finding a partner, but she continued to actively use dating apps and swipe through profiles.

Post-relationship breadcrumbing examples

21. Occasional check-ins

  • What it is: Sending casual messages or checking in on an ex-partner, often during times of loneliness or emotional need.
  • Example scenario: Casey sent Jamal a message wishing him a happy birthday, even though they had broken up months ago.

22. Using inside jokes

  • What it is: Referring to inside jokes or shared experiences from the past relationship, often as a way to maintain a connection or evoke nostalgia.
  • Example scenario: John often brought up inside jokes from their past relationship when he contacted Katie, even though they had broken up.

23. Reaching out during major life events

  • What it is: Contacting an ex-partner during significant life events, such as a new job or relationship, but disappearing again afterward.
  • Example scenario: Sunil reached out to Val when he got a new job, but he never followed up or maintained any contact after that.

24. Maintaining a social media presence

  • What it is: Continuing to follow or stalk an ex-partner’s social media, even after the relationship has ended.
  • Example scenario: Justin continued to follow Sam on social media, even though they had broken up. He would often check his profile and look at his photos.

Impact of breadcrumbing on the recipient

Being on the receiving end of breadcrumbing can take an emotional toll. Here are some common effects:

  • Emotional whiplash: The hot-and-cold nature of breadcrumbing can leave you second-guessing yourself and the other person’s intentions.
  • A Rollercoaster of hope and letdown: Just when you start to believe there's real potential, the cycle of disappointment kicks in again, making it hard to move on.
  • Hit to self-esteem: Repeated rejection and inconsistent attention can chip away at confidence, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
  • Increased anxiety and stress: The unpredictability of breadcrumbing can keep you on edge, making it hard to focus on other areas of life.
  • Feelings of loneliness and isolation: When a connection feels one-sided or insincere, it can make it even harder to form meaningful relationships elsewhere.

Recognizing the impact of breadcrumbing is the first step toward protecting your emotional well-being. Keep reading to get some tips for navigating these difficult dynamics.

Why people breadcrumb

There are several reasons why someone might engage in breadcrumbing, whether they realize it or not:

  • Avoiding commitment: Some people crave connection but fear the responsibilities that come with a deeper relationship.
  • Seeking attention and validation: They may enjoy feeling wanted but aren’t willing to invest in a real relationship.
  • Fear of rejection: Instead of risking being turned down, they keep things vague and noncommittal.
  • Emotional manipulation: Some individuals enjoy the power dynamics of keeping someone interested without fully engaging.
  • Unhealthy relationship patterns: Past experiences with inconsistent or unavailable partners can make breadcrumbing feel like a normal way to interact.

While understanding why someone breadcrumbs can offer insight, it doesn’t justify the emotional toll it takes on the recipient. Recognizing these behaviors can help you set boundaries and prioritize relationships that offer genuine care and respect.

Breaking free from breadcrumbing

If you’re stuck in a breadcrumbing cycle, it’s time to take control and prioritize your emotional well-being. Here’s how you can break free:

Recognize the pattern

  • Spot the signs: Pay attention to the inconsistent communication, vague promises, and emotional ups and downs.
  • Acknowledge the impact: Breadcrumbing can be emotionally exhausting—recognizing its effect on your mental health is the first step toward change.

Set boundaries

  • Speak up about your needs: Be clear about what you expect in a relationship and let the person know their behavior isn’t working for you.
  • Stand firm on your limits: Decide what you will and won’t tolerate, and stick to those boundaries.

Limit contact

  • Reduce interactions: If the person continues breadcrumbing, minimize your communication with them.
  • Create emotional distance: Shift your focus to people and activities that genuinely fulfill you.

Move on

  • Let go of the past: Dwelling on what could have been only prolongs the cycle—focus on what’s next.
  • Open yourself to new connections: Seek relationships that offer the consistency and respect you deserve.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and prioritize your emotional health. It's easier said than done, but it's worth it.

Healing and moving on from breadcrumbing

Breaking free from breadcrumbing is one thing—healing from it is another. Here’s how you can process the experience and move forward:

Acknowledge and validate your feelings

  • Recognize the hurt: Breadcrumbing can be painful. It’s okay to feel frustrated, sad, or even angry.
  • Give yourself permission to feel: Your emotions are valid—allow yourself to process them without self-judgment.

Practice self-care

  • Prioritize your mental and emotional health: Whether it’s exercising, meditating, or diving into a creative hobby, do things that nourish you.
  • Reach out to trusted people in your life: Talking with a friend or family member can help you work through your emotions.

Challenge negative thoughts

  • Notice harmful thought patterns: If you catch yourself internalizing the rejection, remind yourself that their behavior is about them, not you.
  • Replace self-doubt with self-worth: Use affirmations and self-compassion to reinforce your value.

Build a support network

  • Surround yourself with the right people: Spend time with those who uplift, respect, and genuinely care for you.
  • Consider a support group: Connecting with others who’ve had similar experiences can be incredibly validating.

Seek professional help

  • Consider therapy: If breadcrumbing has left a lasting emotional impact, a therapist can help you process your feelings and build healthier relationship patterns.

Healing isn’t instant, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself—over time, you’ll regain confidence and be ready for healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Final thoughts on breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing can be confusing, frustrating, and emotionally draining. But you don’t have to stay stuck in its cycle. By recognizing the signs, setting boundaries, and focusing on your well-being, you can move forward and cultivate relationships that bring you real connection and respect.

Remember: You deserve more than breadcrumbs. You deserve the whole, nourishing, fulfilling experience of being valued for exactly who you are.

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Written by
Kristie Plantinga
,
MA

Kristie Plantinga is the founder of Best Therapists. Along with being on the client-side of therapy, Kristie has had the honor of working directly with therapists in her marketing agency for therapists, TherapieSEO. While working alongside therapists, she learned about the inequities in our mental health system that therapists face on a daily basis, and she wanted to do something about it. That’s why Best Therapists is a platform designed to benefit not only therapy-seekers, but therapy providers. Kristie has a Masters degree in Written Communication and a Bachelors degree in Psychology and Music.

Reviewed by
Katelyn McMahon
,
Registered Psychotherapist, VT #097.0134200

Katelyn is a therapist-turned-writer with a passion for mental health. She has a Master's degree in Social Work from the University of England and is a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of Vermont. Katelyn has professional experience in aging care, addiction treatment, integrated health care, and private practice settings. She also has lived experience being on the client side of therapy. Currently, Katelyn is a content writer who’s passionate about spreading mental health awareness and helping other therapists and therapy-seekers Do The Work.

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