28 Examples of Narcissistic Text Messages

Being in a relationship with someone who exhibits narcissistic traits can be tough to say the least. Dealing with the manipulation, put-downs, and lack of empathy can leave you feeling used, disrespected, and even questioning your own reality.

Recognizing these toxic communication patterns is an important first step in setting boundaries with the narcissistic person in your life. That's why we've created this blog post, where we'll review some examples of narcissistic text messages. Our hope is that you'll get some much-needed validation and perspective, and maybe even take the next step toward protecting your energy with this person.

Let's dive in.

Decoding narcissistic texts

Understanding a narcissist's communication tactics is crucial. By recognizing the red flags, you can take steps to safeguard your well-being and respond in a way that prioritizes your own needs.

To help you decode these manipulative texts, we'll be using a clear breakdown structure throughout this article. Each section will focus on a specific tactic a narcissist might use, and we'll break it down into four key parts:

• Example: We'll provide a clear example of a text message that uses this tactic.
• Tactic: This will identify the specific manipulative strategy used in the text message. For instance, is it a guilt trip, an attempt at attention-seeking, or something else?
• Impact: This explains how the text message might make you feel emotionally. Does it make you feel insecure, blamed, or unsure of your own reality?
• Consequence: Finally, we'll explore the potential consequences of responding to or being manipulated by this type of text message. For instance, might it make you apologize for something you didn't do, or avoid expressing your own needs?

By understanding these tactics and their potential effects, you'll be better equipped to navigate these situations and protect yourself from emotional manipulation.

Examples of narcissistic text messages from friends

1. Example: "Ugh, everyone canceled on our plans except you. You better not bail on me last minute!"

• Tactic: Guilt Trip
• Impact: Makes you feel responsible for their disappointment and pressured to attend, even if it disrupts your own plans.
• Consequence: You prioritize their needs over your own and might feel obligated to apologize for something you didn't do.

2. Example: "Seriously? You didn't post my birthday shoutout? I thought we were best friends."

• Tactic: Attention Seeking
• Impact: Makes you feel like a bad friend for not fulfilling their need for public recognition.
• Consequence: You downplay your own efforts to celebrate them and might feel anxious about forgetting their important dates.

3. Example: "Didn't you see my text asking you to come shopping with me? I've been waiting here for ages!" (when they never texted)

• Tactic: Gaslighting
• Impact: Makes you question your memory and responsiveness, feeling like you're the one forgetting things.
• Consequence: You might apologize for something that wasn't your fault and feel hesitant to trust your own recollection of events.

4. Example: "That new haircut looks...interesting. Are you sure it suits you?"

• Tactic: Negativity and Criticism
• Impact: Makes you feel insecure about your appearance and question your choices.
• Consequence: You might avoid expressing yourself through fashion or feel hesitant to share personal updates.

5. Example: "My new friend [insert name] is so much fun! We're going to [insert exciting activity]. Wish you could come, but you'd probably be boring them anyway."

• Tactic: Bragging & Domination
• Impact: Makes you feel inadequate and excluded, emphasizing their superiority and control over social circles.
• Consequence: You might downplay your own achievements and feel hesitant to invite them to your own social events.

6. Example: "I can't believe you didn't answer my text right away. Don't you care about your friends?"

• Tactic:  Attention Seeking & Guilt Trip
• Impact: Makes you feel constantly on call and responsible for their emotional state.
• Consequence: You prioritize their need for immediate response and might feel anxious about missing their messages.

7. Example: "Remember that time you [insert embarrassing past event]? Hilarious! My new friends can't stop laughing about it."

• Tactic: Public Humiliation
• Impact: Makes you feel exposed and vulnerable, damaging your self-esteem.
• Consequence: You might become guarded in their presence and avoid sharing personal details.

Examples of narcissistic text messages from parents

8. Example: "Why can't you be more successful like Sarah's child? You never seem to achieve anything."

• Tactic: Negativity and Comparison
• Impact: Makes you feel like a disappointment and inadequate compared to others.
• Consequence: You might lose motivation and self-confidence, struggling to live up to their expectations.

9. Example: "I'm so worried sick about you being alone [even though you're an adult]. Don't you ever visit anymore?"

• Tactic: Guilt Trip
• Impact: Makes you feel responsible for their emotional well-being and obligated to prioritize their needs.
• Consequence: You might limit your independence and feel pressured to visit often, even if it disrupts your life.

10. Example: "You never call! Don't you know how much it hurts me? This is what I get for all the sacrifices I made for you."

• Tactic: Guilt Trip & Emotional Manipulation
• Impact: Makes you feel indebted and responsible for their happiness, regardless of your own actions.
• Consequence: You might prioritize their needs over your own and feel like you can never do enough to repay them.

11. Example: "Of course you got that job! You get everything handed to you on a silver platter. I had to work twice as hard for half the opportunities."

• Tactic:  Bragging & Minimizing Your Achievements
• Impact: Makes you feel like your success is diminished and not worthy of celebration.
• Consequence: You might downplay your accomplishments to avoid triggering their jealousy or negativity.

12. Example: "Everyone else's parents are coming to graduation. Are you ashamed of me?"

• Tactic: Guilt Trip & Public Humiliation
• Impact: Makes you feel responsible for their public image and pressured to conform to their expectations.
• Consequence: You might feel anxious about disappointing them and prioritize their presence over your own preferences.

13. Example: "I told you not to wear that! Now everyone will be staring at you."

• Tactic: Control & Public Humiliation
• Impact: Makes you feel insecure about your choices and appearance, doubting your own judgment.
• Consequence: You might limit self-expression and become overly reliant on their approval.

14. Example: "If you loved me, you'd listen to my advice. You're just making a huge mistake by [insert life decision]."

• Tactic: Manipulation & Guilt Trip
• Impact: Makes you question your own judgment and feel like disobeying will cause them emotional pain.
• Consequence: You might struggle with making independent decisions and prioritize their approval over your own needs.

Examples of narcissistic text messages from coworkers

15. Example: "My presentation was a huge success thanks to my brilliant ideas. You wouldn't have pulled it off without me." (when they didn't contribute significantly)

• Tactic: Bragging & Taking Credit
• Impact: Makes you feel like your contributions are minimized and their role is exaggerated.
• Consequence: You might hesitate to share your own ideas or feel discouraged from taking credit for your work.

16. Example: "Deadlines are for the weak. I'll get it to you when I get it to you. Don't worry, it'll be amazing."

• Tactic: Domination & Dismissiveness
• Impact: Creates stress and anxiety for the team relying on their work to be completed on time.
• Consequence: You might have to pick up the slack or face consequences for their missed deadlines.

17. Example: "Why didn't you tell me about this project sooner? This is a mess, and now we'll all look bad." (shifting blame after missing important information)

• Tactic: Gaslighting & Blame Shifting
• Impact: Makes you question your communication and feel responsible for their mistakes.
• Consequence: You might hesitate to raise concerns or delegate tasks for fear of getting blamed.

18. Example: "See? I told you this wouldn't work. You should have listened to me from the beginning." (after a project fails due to unrelated factors)

• Tactic: Negativity & Putting You Down
• Impact: Makes you feel insecure about your abilities and undermines your confidence in decision-making.
• Consequence: You might hesitate to take initiative or propose new ideas to avoid criticism.

19. Example: "Everyone else on the team is working late tonight. Don't even think about leaving until this is finished." (unnecessary pressure and disregard for work-life balance)

• Tactic: Domination & Control
• Impact: Creates feelings of burnout and resentment towards them and the workload.
• Consequence: You might struggle to maintain boundaries and prioritize work over your personal well-being.

20. Example: "If you can't handle the pressure, maybe you're not cut out for this team." (using intimidation to manipulate performance)

• Tactic: Threat & Intimidation
• Impact: Creates a hostile work environment and fear of failure.
• Consequence: You might experience anxiety and decreased motivation, hindering your overall performance.

21. Example: "My brilliant idea just came to me! We need to scrap everything and start over based on my vision." (disregarding your previous work and taking control)

• Tactic: Domination & Disrespect for Your Work
• Impact: Makes you feel like your efforts are unimportant and easily replaceable.
• Consequence: You might lose motivation and feel discouraged from putting your best work forward.

Examples of narcissistic text messages from intimate partners

22. Example: "You never compliment me anymore. Do you even find me attractive?" (making you responsible for their self-esteem)

• Tactic: Guilt Trip & Negativity
• Impact: Makes you feel like you're constantly failing to meet their needs and question your affection for them.
• Consequence: You might shower them with compliments and prioritize their insecurities over your own sense of validation.

23. Example: "I saw you talking to your ex earlier. Don't you trust me? You're probably going to cheat on me anyway." (creating jealousy and insecurity)

• Tactic: Manipulation & Jealousy
• Impact: Makes you feel insecure and question your loyalty, even if there's no basis for suspicion.
• Consequence: You might limit your interactions with others and feel the need to constantly reassure them.

24. Example: "Everyone else's partner is so romantic! Why can't you ever plan anything special for us?" (belittling your efforts and comparing you to others)

• Tactic: Comparison &  Negativity
• Impact: Makes you feel like your efforts are insufficient and undermines your attempts to express love.
• Consequence: You might feel discouraged from planning dates and question your ability to fulfill their needs.

25. Example: "Look what you made me do! If you hadn't said that, I wouldn't be so angry." (shifting blame for their emotional outbursts)

• Tactic: Blame Shifting & Gaslighting
• Impact: Makes you feel responsible for their emotions and question your own actions, even if you weren't at fault.
• Consequence: You might hesitate to express your true feelings or opinions for fear of triggering their anger.

26. Example: "You wouldn't be anything without me. I'm the only one who truly supports you." (creating dependence and isolating you)

• Tactic: Manipulation &  Isolation
• Impact: Makes you feel dependent on them and question your own self-worth outside of the relationship.
• Consequence: You might become isolated from friends and family and prioritize their needs over your own sense of independence.

27. Example: "No one else will ever love you like I do. If you leave me, you'll be alone forever." (using threats and fear to control you)

• Tactic: Manipulation &  Fear
• Impact: Makes you feel trapped and afraid to leave the relationship, fearing rejection and isolation.
• Consequence: You might stay in an unhealthy relationship due to fear and prioritize pleasing them over your own happiness.

28. Example: "Those jeans make you look fat. Maybe you should hit the gym more often." (criticizing your appearance and diminishing self-esteem)

• Tactic: Negativity &  Body Shaming
• Impact: Makes you feel insecure about your body image and question your attractiveness.
• Consequence: You might avoid intimacy or feel self-conscious about your appearance.

How to respond to narcissistic text messages

Recognizing these manipulative tactics is the first step, but empowering yourself to respond effectively is just as important. Here are some tips to navigate receiving narcissistic text messages:

• Don't respond immediately. Take a beat to process the message and your emotions before reacting. Responding hastily might play into their manipulative tactics.
• Set boundaries. It's okay to limit communication or ignore texts entirely if they're emotionally draining. You can also set boundaries around topics or the timeframe for responses.
• Prioritize your well-being. Don't feel obligated to respond to texts that make you feel anxious, upset, or disrespected. Prioritize your mental health and emotional well-being.
• Respond calmly and directly. If you do choose to respond, keep it brief and factual. Avoid getting drawn into emotional arguments or justifications.
• Focus on "I" statements. When communicating, focus on how their behavior makes you feel.  For example, "I feel hurt when you say that" is more effective than accusatory statements.
• Consider a trusted friend. Talking to a trusted friend can provide support and guidance in dealing with these situations.
• Seek professional help. If you're struggling to manage the emotional impact of these texts or feel stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, consider seeking professional help from a therapist. They can equip you with strategies for coping and protecting yourself.

Remember, you are not responsible for someone else's manipulative behavior. By prioritizing your well-being and setting boundaries, you can empower yourself to navigate these situations and protect yourself from emotional harm.

Final thoughts

Narcissistic text messages can be confusing, hurtful, and manipulative. They can leave you feeling insecure, questioning your reality, or responsible for someone else's emotions.

However, by recognizing the tactics used in these messages, you can take back control. We've explored different tactics like guilt trips, attention-seeking, and gaslighting, along with their potential impacts and consequences.

The key takeaway is this, YOU are not powerless. By understanding the manipulative nature of these texts and prioritizing your well-being, you can develop strategies to protect yourself. 

Don't be afraid to set boundaries, respond calmly, or seek professional help if needed. Remember, you deserve healthy and respectful communication in all your relationships.