How Long Is Too Long in Therapy?

If you’ve been in and out of therapy like I have, you’ve probably wondered “how long is too long in therapy?”

I get it. Whether you suspect that you’re too “broken” to be fixed or feel like therapy has lost its luster, you’re in the right place.

In this post, I’ll pose a few questions to ask yourself to help you decide if you’ve been in therapy too long.

Let’s dive in!

So how long is too long in therapy?

Before we dive in, remember that there’s no right answer for how long is too long in therapy. Some people are in therapy their whole lives, while others prefer shorter term, solutions-focused therapy. Both are completely valid, and the choice is up to you. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer since you are unique!

Since you’re here, my guess is you’re in one of these two boats.

1. You’ve been in therapy for a while (a year or longer) and are feeling insecure (or curious!) about the length of time you’ve spent in therapy.
2. You started therapy fairly recently but don’t feel like you’re making progress and want to know how long you should stick it out.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself depending on which of those statements resonate.

Questions to ask yourself if you’ve been in therapy for a while

Am I insecure about the length of time I’ve spent in therapy?

You might feel insecure if you’ve been in therapy for a few years. I understand, but know that you’re not alone! Many people spend multiple years in therapy or are in-and-out of therapy their whole lives.

If you’re feeling insecure about it, I recommend bringing that emotion into the therapy room. Discuss this insecurity with your therapist–I’m sure they’ll have thoughts that will prompt helpful and healing discussions.

Am I curious about the length of time I’ve spent in therapy?

Maybe you don’t feel insecure about your time spent in therapy. Good! 

Either way, you might feel a little puzzled or contemplative about the length of time you’ve spent in therapy thus far. That’s normal, and that questioning alone is not a great reason to pause therapy (in my opinion). Again, I would encourage you to bring your questioning to your therapist.

Am I scared that I’m too broken to be fixed?

I ask this question because it may be on your heart.

If you feel this way, know that you’re not alone: most people who struggle with their mental health have felt like they’re too broken to be “fixed” at one point or another.

Just because you’ve been in therapy for a few years does not mean that you’re too broken to feel whole or be in more control of your mental health.

I strongly recommend that you bring these thoughts and emotions of feeling “too broken” to your therapist. It sounds like there’s more work to be done!

Am I still committed to the process?

Your heart may not be in therapy at the moment, and that’s okay.

You might feel a little burnt out or exhausted by therapy, which makes sense; it’s hard work. Sometimes, the best thing to do for your therapeutic journey is to take a pause. Discuss your burnout and thoughts about taking a break with your therapist.

Am I making progress?

Do you feel “stuck” in the therapy process? Have your last few sessions felt a little stagnant? If you feel like you’re not making gains in the therapy process, it could be time to pause therapy.

Before you do, I recommend having a conversation with your therapist about your lack of progress. Therapists thrive on feedback. If you let your therapists know that your current treatment plan isn’t working for you, they can recommend changes to treatment or another therapist altogether.

If it feels right, try to salvage what’s working before moving on.

Questions to ask yourself if you’re new to therapy but don’t feel like you’re making enough progress

In most cases, therapy is a longer-term process. So if you’ve been in therapy for less than a year, you probably haven’t been in therapy “too long.” My guess is that something about the process isn’t working for you.

Am I making progress?

This question is important for you, too. If you don’t feel like you’re making progress in therapy, that warrants a conversation with your therapist.

Am I committed to the process?

You might not be willing (or ready) to give therapy the time and energy it needs. Therapy is an active process; you don’t just sit in a room and get “therapized” once per week.

Without being an active participant in therapy, it can definitely feel like you’re not making progress, even if you’ve been in therapy a few months. You have to be committed to the process to make progress, and no amount of time in therapy can make up for a lack of effort.

Is therapy “working” for me?

This is a subtle difference between making progress and if therapy itself is the right thing for you at this time.

There are many paths to improving your mental health, and therapy is just one of them. For some people, focusing on nutrition or a digital detox helps them feel better sooner than talk therapy. Others may want to invest their time attending workshops about meditation, sexual health, etc.

Like I said before, before stopping therapy, have a conversation with your therapist first. Most therapists want what’s best for their clients, so they can help you make a decision either way.

Is this type of therapy right for me?

There are tons of types of therapy! Most therapists utilize a mix of methodologies when treating a client, and the types that your therapist is using might not be the best fit.

For example, exposure therapy is highly effective for phobias and OCD, while EMDR is associated with positive outcomes for people with trauma.

Is my therapist a good fit?

At Best Therapists, our mission is to facilitate soulmate connections between therapists and therapy-seekers (yes, this is a thing!). I’ve seen multiple therapists throughout my life, and I didn’t connect with all of them in the same way.

Your therapist might simply be not a great fit for you, and that’s hindering your progress.

Do you want to break up with your therapist? Read our blog post on reasons to break up with your therapist and how to do it.

We 💛 therapy

If you suspect that your connection with your therapist is hindering your progress, take a look at our vetted therapists. We vet therapists so you can focus on fit, not quality.