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Have you ever received a small piece of feedback and felt like your entire world was crumbling? Do you replay conversations for days, dissecting every word for hidden meanings?
If so, you're definitely not alone.
If you find yourself convinced that everyone is secretly disappointed in you, or if you avoid certain situations entirely because the thought of potential criticism feels unbearable, you might be experiencing something called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). It's not just "being too sensitive" (ugh, I hate that phrase). It's experiencing emotional pain so intense that it feels physical, the kind that can knock the wind out of you and ruin your entire week.
RSD is super common in people with ADHD, but honestly, it can affect anyone. And here's the thing: this goes way beyond taking things personally. We're talking about overwhelming emotional pain that derails your day, damages your relationships, and makes you second guess every single social interaction. Exhausting doesn't even begin to cover it.
But here's some good news (finally, right?). Understanding RSD can be a total game changer. This quick quiz is designed to help you figure out whether your emotional responses to rejection and criticism might be RSD. For a lot of people, just learning there's an actual name for what they're experiencing brings huge relief. It's like finally having the missing piece of the puzzle.
Let's dive in.
How accurate is this quiz?
At Best Therapists, we believe that online mental health quizzes can be an excellent first step towards improving our mental health. Quizzes like this one can educate you and provide opportunities for self-reflection, but note that they are not a substitute for professional assessments and diagnoses.
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<div data-tf-live="01KD1VB2ZS1YPBHVHSRNH9HY08"></div><script src="//embed.typeform.com/next/embed.js"></script>Example scenarios
Scenario 1: Marcus, The Overachiever Who Can't Stop
Marcus is a 32 year old software engineer who's been at his company for five years. On paper, he's wildly successful. He's been promoted twice, consistently receives excellent performance reviews, and his manager frequently praises his work. But Marcus lives in constant terror of disappointing anyone.
Last month, his manager sent him a routine email asking to "touch base" about a project. Marcus immediately spiraled, convinced he'd done something wrong. He spent the entire night before their meeting unable to sleep, replaying every decision he'd made on the project, certain he was about to be fired. When his manager simply wanted to discuss next steps and actually complimented his work, Marcus felt relief for about an hour before the anxiety settled back in.
The real problem started three weeks ago when a junior colleague made an offhand comment during a code review, suggesting a different approach to something Marcus had written. It wasn't harsh or even particularly critical, just a normal part of the review process. But Marcus heard it as "you're incompetent." He spent the rest of the day feeling physically ill, his chest tight, unable to focus. That night, he rewrote the entire section of code, staying up until 3 a.m., even though his original approach was perfectly fine.
Now Marcus works 70 hour weeks, not because the job requires it, but because he's terrified of anyone thinking he's not good enough. He triple checks every email before sending it, rewrites messages dozens of times, and volunteers for every project because saying no might mean someone thinks he's lazy. His girlfriend keeps asking him to take time off, but Marcus can't. The thought of anyone at work being disappointed in him feels unbearable. He's exhausted, burned out, and his relationship is suffering, but the fear of rejection drives him forward. Last week, he had a panic attack in the office bathroom after his manager said "we need to talk" in the hallway. It turned out she just wanted to invite him to her retirement party.
Scenario 2: Jennifer, The Friend Who Disappeared
Jennifer used to have a large, active friend group. She was the one who planned gatherings, remembered birthdays, and kept everyone connected. But over the past two years, she's gradually pulled away from almost everyone, and now she's down to one friend who still regularly checks in.
The turning point happened at her best friend Sarah's birthday dinner. Jennifer had been running late because of traffic, and when she arrived at the restaurant 20 minutes after everyone else, Sarah joked, "Nice of you to finally show up!" Everyone laughed, including Sarah, who immediately hugged Jennifer and said she was glad she made it. But Jennifer heard that joke as a devastating rejection. She felt her face flush hot, her heart racing, and spent the entire dinner convinced everyone was annoyed with her. She kept apologizing, over explaining about the traffic, watching everyone's faces for signs of irritation.
That night, Jennifer lay awake replaying the joke over and over, feeling the emotional pain like a physical wound in her chest. She decided Sarah must have been genuinely angry, that everyone thought she was inconsiderate and unreliable. The next day, when Sarah texted asking if she wanted to grab coffee, Jennifer made an excuse. And then another excuse the next week. And another.
Within months, Jennifer had pulled back from the entire friend group. She stopped responding to group texts, declined invitations, and created elaborate reasons why she couldn't attend events. It wasn't that she didn't want to see her friends. It was that every interaction felt like a potential landmine of rejection. What if she said something awkward? What if they were secretly annoyed with her? What if they didn't actually want her there?
Now Jennifer spends most evenings alone, scrolling through social media seeing photos of her old friends hanging out without her, which only confirms her worst fears that they never really liked her anyway. She wants to reach out, to explain, to reconnect, but the thought of being vulnerable and potentially hearing that they are actually upset with her feels impossible to bear. Her therapist keeps trying to help her see that Sarah's joke was genuinely lighthearted, but in Jennifer's mind, it was proof that she's always been a disappointment.
Scenario 3: David, The Relationship Saboteur
David is 28 and has never been in a relationship that lasted longer than four months. It's not because he doesn't want commitment. It's because he can't handle the constant emotional rollercoaster of perceived rejection.
His most recent relationship with Alex seemed promising at first. Alex was patient, communicative, and clearly cared about him. But David's rejection sensitivity turned every normal relationship moment into a crisis. When Alex took a few hours to respond to a text, David would spiral into panic, convinced Alex was losing interest or had met someone else. He'd send multiple follow up messages, each one more desperate than the last, asking if everything was okay, if he'd done something wrong.
The breaking point came after three months. Alex had a stressful week at work and was quieter than usual, just needing some space to decompress. David interpreted this as Alex pulling away and preparing to break up with him. Instead of giving Alex space, David sent a long, emotional text message essentially breaking up with Alex first, explaining that he "understood" Alex didn't want to be with him anymore and it was fine. Alex was confused and hurt, responding that they just needed a few days to handle a work crisis and had no intention of ending things.
David apologized profusely, but the damage was done. Two weeks later, when Alex seemed distant after a disagreement about weekend plans, David did it again. This time, Alex decided they couldn't continue. The constant need for reassurance, the inability to handle any perceived slight without assuming the worst, and the pattern of preemptive breakups was too exhausting.
Now David is single again, replaying every moment of the relationship, convinced he's unlovable and that Alex never really cared about him anyway. He wants to try dating again but can't imagine putting himself through that level of emotional pain. A friend recently tried to set him up on a date, but David declined, saying he wasn't ready. The truth is, he's terrified. The thought of texting someone new, of waiting for responses, of potentially being rejected or disappointed, feels impossible to endure.
Important Note: These are fictional scenarios created for illustrative purposes and are not based on real individuals. They're designed to show how rejection sensitive dysphoria can manifest in different areas of life. If you recognize yourself in these scenarios or suspect you might be experiencing RSD, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional. RSD is manageable with the right support, therapy, and sometimes medication, and many people find significant relief once they understand what they're experiencing.
