11 Tips for Talking to a Therapist About Anxiety

Anxiety can feel like a constant, unwelcome companion, affecting every aspect of your life. If you're reading this, you've likely reached a point where you're ready to take control and seek professional help. That's a huge step, and you should be proud of yourself for getting this far. 

Talking to a therapist about anxiety might seem daunting at first, but ultimately it can help you better understand yourself and find relief from your anxiety symptoms.

As someone who’s been both a therapist and a therapy-seeker, I get it. In this post, I’ll share what I wish all my new clients knew before coming into my office (and what I wish I’d have known before meeting with my first therapist). These tips will help you make the most of your sessions and get the support you need to start working through your anxiety.

Let’s dive in.

Understanding your anxiety

The first step in talking to a therapist about anxiety is getting a better understanding of your own experience. Of course, you don’t need to have everything figured out before your first session–after all, that’s what therapy is for—but having a basic sense of your unique symptoms and triggers can be a helpful starting point. 

1. Recognize your symptoms.

While certain symptoms are common among people with anxiety, each person’s experience is different. Plus, if you’ve lived with anxiety for a long time, you might become desensitized to them. 

Some symptoms are obvious (think: getting a panic attack out of nowhere) while others are more subtle, like chronic tension in the body. 

You’ll explore your specific “flavor” of anxiety more in therapy, but start by reflecting on which of these common symptoms resonate with you.

Anxiety symptoms generally fall into three categories:

• Physical: Racing heart, sweaty palms, nausea, muscle tension, shortness of breath, trembling or shaking, dizziness or lightheadedness, chest tightness, dry mouth, excessive sweating, fatigue
• Emotional: Feeling on edge, restlessness, irritability, constant worry, fear of worst-case scenarios, feeling overwhelmed, sense of impending doom (feeling like something bad is going to happen), feeling detached from yourself, mood swings, difficulty feeling joy or relaxation
• Behavioral: Avoiding certain situations, over-preparing, difficulty concentrating, procrastination, seeking constant reassurance, perfectionism, trouble making decisions, sleep issues

Here's a little homework that can make a big difference: start a symptom journal. It doesn't have to be fancy—a notes app on your phone works just fine. Jot down when you feel anxious, what you're experiencing, and what was happening at the time. This isn't about judging your anxiety; it's about getting to know it better. Trust me, your future self (and your therapist) will thank you for this valuable info.

2. Identify your triggers.

Now, let's talk triggers. These are the situations, thoughts, or even sensations that set your anxiety in motion. Think of triggers as the match that lights the anxiety fire. They're different for everyone, but some common culprits include:

• Social situations (hello, small talk anxiety!)
• Work-related stress (deadlines, presentations, performance reviews)
• Financial concerns
• Health worries (your own or a loved one's)
• Major life changes (moving, starting a new job, relationships)
• Lack of sleep or poor sleep quality
• Caffeine or other stimulants

Identifying your personal triggers is a crucial step in managing your anxiety. That symptom journal we talked about earlier? It's going to come in handy here too. As you track your anxiety, look for patterns. Maybe you notice your anxiety spikes before team meetings at work, or perhaps it's when you're running late for an appointment.

Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate all your triggers (wouldn't that be nice?), but to understand them better. This knowledge is power—it helps you and your therapist develop strategies to manage your anxiety more effectively. By paying attention to what sets off your anxiety, you're taking an important step towards better mental health. Your anxiety doesn't stand a chance against your newfound self-awareness 😉

Preparing for your therapy session

I want to tread lightly here knowing that many of you reading this likely already feel the need to over-prepare (a common anxiety symptom that we discussed above). You don’t need to know exactly what to say or do in order for therapy to be helpful. Sometimes, conversations that come up organically in session can be the most impactful.

With that said, going in blind can feel totally overwhelming for someone with anxiety. Consider these tips to help you feel more prepared and hopefully get the most out of your session.

3. Set goals.

Let's talk about goals, shall we? Walking into therapy with a vague "I want to feel better" is like heading to the grocery store without a list—you might grab a few useful things, but you're likely to miss some essentials. Setting specific, achievable goals for your therapy journey can make a world of difference.

Think about what success looks like for you. Maybe it's reducing the frequency of your panic attacks from three times a week to once a month. Or perhaps it's being able to give that presentation at work without your anxiety taking the mic. 

Your goals might include:

• Learning to manage social anxiety so you can enjoy dinner with friends
• Developing coping strategies to quiet your racing thoughts at bedtime
• Building confidence to assert yourself in relationships
• Reducing physical symptoms like tension headaches or stomach issues

Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to anxiety goals. What matters is that they're meaningful to you and realistically achievable. Don't worry if you're not sure what your goals should be—that's something you and your therapist can work on together.

4. Gather information.

Knowledge is power, especially when it comes to tackling anxiety. Before your first session, arm yourself with questions. Think of it as creating your anxiety-busting toolkit. Some questions you might want to ask your therapist could include:

• What treatment approaches do you typically use for anxiety?
• How long does treatment usually last?
• What can I do between sessions to support my progress?
• Are there any lifestyle changes that could help my anxiety?

Speaking of treatment approaches, it's good to have a basic idea of what's out there. 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a popular choice for anxiety, helping you reframe worry thoughts. Exposure therapy might sound scary, but it can be super effective for growing your resilience. There's also mindfulness-based therapies, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and more. 

Don't stress about knowing all the details—your therapist will guide you through the options that best fit your needs.

5. Practice open communication.

Here's the deal: your therapist isn't a mind reader. The more open and honest you are, the better they can help you. It's like giving a mechanic all the weird noises your car is making – the more info they have, the better they can fix the problem.

I get it, though. Opening up about anxiety isn't exactly a walk in the park. If you find yourself tongue-tied in sessions, try these tricks:

• Jot down your thoughts and feelings throughout the week. Bring this anxiety journal to your session as a conversation starter.
• If talking feels overwhelming, write a letter to your therapist explaining what you're experiencing.
• Practice saying difficult things out loud when you're alone. It can make it easier when you're face-to-face with your therapist.
• Remember, your therapist has heard it all before. There's no judgment here—only support and strategies to help you feel better.

Open communication might feel awkward at first, but it gets easier with time. And trust me, it's worth it. The more your therapist understands your unique anxiety experience, the better equipped they'll be to help you kick anxiety to the curb.

During your therapy session

You’ve done all the prep work that you can—now it’s time to actually start talking to your therapist about anxiety. Hopefully, these tips will help you feel more confident broaching the topic.

6. Initiate the conversation.

So, you're sitting in the therapist's office, and suddenly your mind goes blank. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us (especially those of us with anxiety)! Here are some conversation starters to break the ice:

• "I've been feeling anxious lately, and it's starting to affect my daily life." 
• "I'm not sure where to begin, but I know I need help managing my anxiety." 
• "I've been experiencing [specific symptom], and I think it might be related to anxiety."

Remember, your therapist is there to guide the conversation, but it's okay to take the lead sometimes. And those awkward silences? They're totally normal. If you find yourself in one, try:

• Taking a deep breath and saying whatever comes to mind—even if it's "I'm not sure what to say right now."
• Asking the therapist a question about anxiety or therapy in general.
• Describing a recent situation where you felt anxious.

Think of silence as a chance to gather your thoughts. No pressure to fill every moment with words!

7. Describe your symptoms.

When it comes to describing your anxiety, don't hold back on the details. Your therapist isn't just interested in the highlight reel—they want the behind-the-scenes footage too.

Instead of saying "I feel anxious," try painting a vivid picture:

• "My heart races like I've just run a marathon, even when I'm sitting still." 
• "My thoughts spin like a hamster wheel, always focused on what could go wrong." 
• "I feel like there's a heavy weight on my chest, making it hard to breathe."

Don't forget to share how anxiety is affecting your daily life. Maybe you've been avoiding social gatherings, or your work performance is suffering. Perhaps you can't enjoy your favorite activities anymore. These details help your therapist understand the full impact of your anxiety.

8. Discuss triggers and goals.

Remember that work you did identifying your triggers? Now's the time to share your findings. Your therapist isn't expecting a perfectly organized presentation—just be honest about what you've noticed sets off your anxiety.

For example:

• "I've noticed my anxiety spikes when I have to speak in meetings at work." 
• "Crowded spaces, like shopping malls, seem to trigger my anxiety." 
• "I feel most anxious when I'm running late or feel unprepared."

This is also the perfect time to bring up those goals we talked about earlier. Share what you're hoping to achieve:

• "I'd like to be able to go to social events without feeling overwhelmed." 
• "My goal is to reduce the frequency of my panic attacks." 
• "I want to learn techniques to manage my anxiety in the moment."

Remember, therapy is a team sport. You and your therapist will work together to develop a game plan that fits your unique needs and goals. Your input is crucial in shaping your treatment, so don't be shy about sharing your thoughts and preferences.

By opening up about your symptoms, triggers, and goals, you're giving your therapist the tools they need to help you build a life that’s not run by your anxiety. It might feel vulnerable, but trust me, it's worth it!

Beyond the session

9. Implement coping strategies.

Alright, you've had your therapy session, and you're armed with new strategies to tackle your anxiety. Now what? Well, it's time to put those tools to work!

Like any other skill, it takes practice to get the hang of new coping strategies. Your therapist might suggest techniques like:

• Deep breathing exercises 
• Meditation 
• Progressive muscle relaxation 

I recommend practicing these techniques during times when you feel calm to start with. It’s easier to learn when you feel regulated, and it’s not fair to expect yourself to whip out a totally new skill during a heightened moment. Trying out these tools when you’re at baseline can help you develop the “muscle memory” needed for them to come more naturally when anxiety takes over.

These might feel a bit awkward at first, but stick with it! The more you practice, the more natural these techniques will feel when anxiety comes knocking. 

10. Track your progress.

Remember that symptom journal we talked about earlier? Don't toss it out just yet! Keeping track of your anxiety journey is like having a roadmap of your progress.

Jot down the good stuff—maybe you made it through a work presentation without your heart trying to escape your chest, or you went to a social event and actually enjoyed yourself. But don't shy away from noting the challenges too. Had a panic attack at the grocery store? Write it down. These setbacks aren't failures; they're valuable information for you and your therapist.

Think of it as collecting data for your mental health journey. The more information you gather, the better equipped you and your therapist will be to fine-tune your treatment plan.

11. Maintain communication.

Here's the thing about anxiety—it's not always a straight path from feeling awful to feeling awesome. There might be twists, turns, and the occasional U-turn. That's why keeping the lines of communication open with your therapist is crucial.

Notice your anxiety spiking more than usual? Don't suffer in silence—reach out to your therapist. Have a question about a coping strategy? Ask away! Stumbled upon a trigger you hadn't noticed before? Let your therapist know.

Your therapist is there to guide you, but they can only work with the information you give them. So don't be shy about speaking up between sessions if you need to.

Remember, therapy isn't just about what happens in that office for an hour a week. It's about taking what you learn and applying it to your daily life. It might feel like work sometimes (because, well, it is), but trust me—future you will be thankful for every step you take on this journey to managing your anxiety.

Final thoughts on talking to a therapist about anxiety

We've explored how to recognize anxiety symptoms, identify triggers, and communicate effectively with your therapist. Remember, therapy isn't about having all the answers—it's about being willing to ask questions and show up, even when it's tough.

Anxiety might feel overwhelming now, but with professional help and the right tools, you can learn to live a full, meaningful life that’s not ruled by anxiety.

Ready for your next move? Look into therapy resources in your area, focusing on anxiety specialists. And if this post helped you, consider sharing it—you might help someone else who's silently struggling.

Remember, seeking help is a strength. Our vetted therapists are here to give you help you navigate the entire process. You’ve got this! 

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