28 Toxic Relationships Examples to Keep an Eye Out For

Not every bad relationship is toxic, but when it is, it can take a serious toll—on your mental health, your self-esteem, and even your sense of reality. Toxic relationships aren’t just about constant fighting or obvious mistreatment. Sometimes, they creep in subtly, disguised as love, concern, or just “how things are.”

Maybe it’s a partner who always makes you feel guilty. A friend who drains your energy. A boss who keeps moving the goalposts. Toxicity comes in many forms, and recognizing the signs is the first step toward protecting yourself.

In this post, we’ll walk through 28 examples of toxic relationships—some glaringly obvious, others surprisingly sneaky. If any of these feel too familiar, it might be time to set boundaries, seek support, or reconsider the relationship altogether.

Disclaimer: The following scenarios depict harmful and abusive behavior. If you or someone you know is experiencing physical abuse, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a domestic violence hotline.

Toxic relationship examples involving emotional abuse

1. Gaslighting

What it is: A form of manipulation where one person attempts to make someone else question their own reality, memories, or perceptions.
Example scenario: Sarah and David had been dating for a year when David started gaslighting her. He would often deny saying or doing things that she clearly remembered, accusing her of being overly sensitive or imagining things. For example, Sarah would remember David making a hurtful comment about her appearance, but he would insist that he never said anything like that.

2. Minimization

What it is: Dismissing a person's feelings or experiences as unimportant or exaggerated.
Example scenario: Emily was struggling with depression and anxiety, but her boyfriend, James, would often dismiss her feelings as unimportant or exaggerated. He would tell her that she was "just being dramatic" or "making a big deal out of nothing." This made Emily feel invalidated and alone in her struggles.

3. Isolation

What it is: Intentionally restricting someone else's access to others.
Example scenario: Ashley was in a toxic relationship with her boyfriend, Jake. He would keep her from going out and meeting new people and even monitor her phone and social media accounts.

4. Blame-shifting

What it is: When one person accuses another of causing their own problematic behavior.
Example scenario: Mark was constantly blaming his girlfriend, Lisa, for his problems. He would accuse her of making him angry, causing him to behave badly. This made Lisa feel guilty and responsible for his abusive behavior.

5. Shaming

What it is: Making the someone feel ashamed or embarrassed for their thoughts, feelings, or actions.
Example scenario: Jennifer was constantly being shamed by her boyfriend, Michael. He would make hurtful comments about her appearance, intelligence, and abilities. This made Jennifer feel worthless and ashamed of herself.

Toxic relationship examples involving verbal abuse

6. Name-calling

What it is: Using derogatory or offensive language to insult or belittle someone.
Example scenario: Sarah and David had been dating for a year when David started calling her names. He would often refer to her as "stupid" or "useless" during arguments, especially when she disagreed with him.

7. Constant criticism

What it is: Constantly finding fault with a person's actions, appearance, or personality.
Example scenario: Emily was always trying her best to keep her house clean and tidy, but no matter how hard she worked, her husband, James, would always find something to criticize. He would complain about the way she folded laundry, the way she dusted, and even the way she made the bed.

8. Yelling and screaming

What it is: Raising one's voice excessively or shouting.
Example scenario: Michael and Jennifer had been married for five years when their arguments started to escalate. During disagreements, Michael would often raise his voice and start yelling at Jennifer, making her feel intimidated and afraid.

9. Threats and intimidation

What it is: Using fear to control or manipulate someone.
Example scenario: Ashley was terrified of her boyfriend, Jake. He would often threaten to hurt her or her family if she didn't do what he wanted. She felt trapped and helpless, unable to leave the relationship.

Toxic relationship examples involving physical abuse

10. Slapping

What it is: Striking someone with an open hand.
Example scenario: After an argument, John slapped Sarah across the face, leaving a red mark on her cheek. He told her it was her fault for making him angry.

11. Pushing

What it is: Applying force to someone to move them against their will.
Example scenario: During a heated discussion, David pushed his girlfriend, Emily, into the wall, causing her to stumble backward. He accused her of being disrespectful.

12. Choking

What it is: Applying pressure to someone's neck, restricting their breathing.
Example scenario: In a fit of rage, James grabbed his wife, Sarah, by the throat and squeezed, making it difficult for her to breathe. He threatened to kill her if she didn't stop arguing.

13. Hitting

What it is: Striking someone with a fist or other body part.
Example scenario: After a night of drinking, Michael punched his girlfriend, Lisa, in the face, causing her nose to bleed. He blamed her for making him angry.

14. Strangulation

What it is: Applying pressure to the neck to restrict blood flow to the brain.
Example scenario: During a physical altercation, David grabbed his wife, Emily, by the neck and squeezed until she passed out. He then dragged her to the bedroom and locked the door.

Toxic relationship examples involving financial abuse

15. Controlling finances

What it is: One person makes all the financial decisions, leaving the other powerless.
Example scenario: David kept a tight grip on the money in his relationship with Sarah. He refused to give her anything for personal expenses and constantly accused her of being irresponsible with finances. She had no control over her own money, making it nearly impossible to gain independence.

16. Preventing employment

What it is: Sabotaging someone's job prospects or preventing them from working.
Example scenario: James was constantly criticizing Emily's career choices and discouraging her from pursuing her goals. He would even sabotage her job interviews by making negative comments about her to potential employers.

17. Accumulating debt in someone else's name

What it is: Running up debt in a person's name without their knowledge or consent.
Example scenario: Mark secretly opened credit cards in Lisa's name and ran up thousands of dollars in debt. When Lisa found out, he accused her of being irresponsible and blamed her for their financial problems.

18. Isolating someone financially

What it is: When one person limits someone else's access to financial resources.
Example scenario: Ashley's boyfriend, Jake, controlled all of their finances and refused to give her any money. He would often accuse her of being irresponsible with money and would withhold money as a form of punishment.

19. Preventing someone from working

What it is: When someone makes it difficult or impossible for another person to work, sometimes by isolating them or controlling their schedule.
Example scenario: Sarah had always dreamed of advancing in her career, but her husband, David, did everything he could to stop her. He’d criticize her job choices, constantly tell her she wasn’t cut out for success, and even show up late to pick up the kids, making it impossible for her to attend important meetings or interviews.

Toxic relationship examples involving isolation

Though we've already touched on isolation in this article, there are many ways it can show up in toxic relationships. Here are some specific examples.

20. Limiting contact with friends and family

What it is: Intentionally restricting the someone's contact with friends and family, cutting them from their support system.
Example scenario: David was constantly monitoring Sarah's phone and social media, restricting her contact with her friends and family. He would accuse her of being disloyal if she spent time with anyone other than him.

21. Controlling social interactions

What it is: Making all decisions about someone else's social interactions, limiting their ability to socialize independently.
Example scenario: Emily's boyfriend, James, was always making decisions about where they would go and who they would see. He would often refuse to let her go out with her friends, saying that he couldn't trust her.

22. Monitoring online activity

What it is: Constantly checking another person's phone, email, and social media accounts, invading their privacy.
Example scenario: Mark was constantly monitoring Lisa's phone and social media, checking her messages and emails without her permission. He would accuse her of cheating if she talked to anyone other than him.

23. Moving to a remote location

What it is: When one person decides to relocate to a remote or isolated area without consulting the other person in a relationship, making it difficult for them to connect with others.
Example scenario: Ashley's boyfriend, Jake, moved them to a remote town where she knew no one. He made it difficult for her to make friends or connect with the community.

24. Isolating someone during arguments

What it is: Cutting the other person off during fights, leaving them feeling alone and unsupported.
Example scenario: During arguments, Michael would completely shut down, refusing to speak to Jennifer or even acknowledge she was there. She’d be left standing in silence, feeling isolated and unsure of where things stood, even as the tension built.

Toxic relationship examples involving gaslighting

Gaslighting can come in tons of different forms, so even though we've already touched on it, we think it's useful to dive into some more specific examples here.

25. Denying a person's feelings or experiences

What it is: Telling someone that their feelings or experiences are invalid or exaggerated.
Example scenario: David constantly told Sarah that she was "overreacting" or "too sensitive" when she expressed her feelings. He would deny saying or doing things that she clearly remembered.

26. Twisting reality

What it is: Manipulating the someone's perception of reality, making them doubt their own memories and sanity.
Example scenario: Emily's boyfriend, James, would often twist her words and make it seem like she was the one who was being abusive. He would accuse her of being manipulative and controlling.

27. Accusing someone of being crazy or imaginative

What it is: Telling the victim that they are crazy or imagining things.
Example scenario: Mark constantly accused Lisa of being "crazy" or "paranoid" when she expressed her concerns about his behavior. He would tell her that she was imagining things or that she was just looking for something to be upset about.

28. Making someone question themselves

What it is: Creating self-doubt and confusion in someone else, making them second-guess their own reality.
Example scenario: Ashley's boyfriend, Jake, would constantly undermine her confidence and make her doubt her own judgment. He would tell her that she was incapable of making decisions for herself and that she needed him to guide her.

How a toxic relationship can impact you

Toxic relationships can have profound, lasting effects. Let's take a look at how they can manifest physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Physical impacts

Health problems: Stress, anxiety, and depression can lead to various physical ailments, such as headaches, digestive issues, and weakened immune systems.
Substance abuse: As a coping mechanism, individuals in toxic relationships may turn to drugs or alcohol.
Physical injury: In cases of physical abuse, there can be immediate and long-term physical damage.

Emotional impacts

Low self-esteem: Constant criticism and belittling can erode a person's self-worth.
Anxiety and depression: The stress and emotional turmoil of a toxic relationship can lead to severe mental health issues.
Isolation: Toxic relationships can isolate people from friends and family, leaving them feeling alone and unsupported.
Fear and intimidation: The constant fear and intimidation a person experiences in toxic relationships can have a lasting impact on their emotional well-being.

Mental impacts

Difficulty trusting others: The experience of being betrayed and manipulated can make it difficult for people to trust others in the future.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): In cases of severe abuse, individuals may develop PTSD, characterized by flashbacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance.
Difficulty forming healthy relationships: The negative experiences in a toxic relationship can make it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships in the future.

Keep in mind that this isn't an exhaustive list. The impacts of a toxic relationship can vary depending on your specific circumstances.

How toxic relationships can form

A toxic relationship often develops gradually. Here's how they typically evolve:

Gradual development

Often starts with subtle red flags that are easy to dismiss
Small boundary violations that increase over time
Gradual erosion of self-esteem and independence
Love bombing in the beginning that slowly transitions to control

Common starting points

Unresolved trauma from childhood or past relationships
Learned relationship patterns from family dynamics
Mental health issues that aren't properly addressed
Attachment style mismatches
Power imbalances (financial, emotional, or social)

Contributing factors

Low self-esteem in one or both partners
Codependency issues
Fear of being alone
Societal pressures or cultural expectations
Normalized toxic behaviors in media/society
Lack of relationship experience or healthy models

Pattern development

Initial attraction and idealization phase
Small issues begin to emerge but are overlooked
Unhealthy patterns become established
Partners become trapped in cycles of conflict
Normalization of toxic behaviors
Development of trauma bonds

Common dynamics

One partner becoming increasingly controlling
Mutual enabling of unhealthy behaviors
Cycle of abuse (tension, incident, reconciliation, calm)
Deteriorating communication patterns
Growing emotional dependence
Loss of individual identity within the relationship

Dealing with a toxic relationship

Dealing with a toxic relationship can be challenging, but it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. Here are some steps you can take:

Recognize the toxicity: The first step is to acknowledge that the relationship is toxic. This can be difficult, but it's essential for moving forward.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support and guidance. Talking to someone you trust can help you process your emotions and make informed decisions.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the toxic individual. This might involve limiting contact or completely cutting off communication.
Prioritize your safety: If the relationship involves physical or emotional abuse, prioritize your safety and seek help from a domestic violence hotline or law enforcement.
Focus on self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Seek professional help: If you're struggling to cope with the effects of a toxic relationship, consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor.

Remember, you don't have to stack stuck in a toxic relationship. Don't be afraid to seek help and prioritize your own well-being.

Final thoughts

Toxic relationships can take a serious toll on your mind, body, and spirit. Recognizing the signs early and reaching out for help is key to breaking free from the damage they cause. By learning to spot toxic behaviors, you can protect yourself and build healthier relationships down the road. Always remember: Relationship should lift you up, not drag you down. Don’t hesitate to seek support and put your well-being first.

Finding a therapist is exhausting.